didgeridoo healing: part 02

didgeridoo design

So I’m lying on the ground, profoundly amazed that anything at all had happened, let alone what had just occurred. Staring up into the sky and amber gum foliage, feeling rather good to say the least. Recharged, invigorated, so aware, alive, oneness enveloping …when a really deep sound began …I’m talking deeeep! I could feel the ground vibrating as it got closer.

The healer was using a didgeridoo I had never seen, or heard before. Like a …bass? didgeridoo, with a wider than wide flanged front, formed in a slight arc rather than straight, it curved down and under, towards us. The notes were insane, so low, deep, rumbling, subterranean …bottomless …vibrated whole of being, through the body into the ground. Never felt anything like it …before or after …although, perhaps Gyuto monk chants.

It was like a call …or an activation of some sorts. It called …something from …of nature? …of the universe? …for me? …from me? …of me? I have no clue …attuned mind and body to some alternate frequency?

…on a branch of the golden ghosts above me, I began to see …a glowing? …light??? appear.

Pulsating with life, small, really small, firefly small but with a glow of about two to three inches in diameter. What the??? Golden, silvery, shimmering, floating …spec of energy? like …a fairy??? (although I didn’t make that connection  at the time) without fairytale shape or extraneous filmic effects. It? appeared, directly above and in front of where I lay, that part of the tree shaded by others.

I didn’t really even know what a spirit guide was, let alone actually use the term, yet what materialised above first was …a bird spirit? Without a spoken word, connected in thoughts, invisibly introducing, informing, reassuring …it/they were always there …always been with me ??? (dialogue of typecast fairytale stuff) It even felt corny for a brief second …until rushes of energy …certainty? were emitted in my direction, causing all doubt about such thought to subside.

…I still don’t fully accept as true …yet find myself believing more and more as other experience confirms these possibilities.

Photographer in me went mental after the fact, trying madly to unravel the mysterious source of the light as some sort of reflection or component of the sunset / river …to no avail. With ten years or more of professional photographic experience, a veritable light leak detective, I could not explain it, still can’t …was something else entirely, and felt like it.

Knowledge came, there were no clear shapes, merely strong impressions …insanely strong, feelings, direct communication? …I knew it to be so; but the information was not what I would have expected, if I expected anything at all. That is to say, no clear defined shape  of any animal was presented in the trees, entities appeared and form ultimately shown me was of …light?

it felt / I felt insane! I didn’t believe any of it but yet it was happening. Madness must have overcome somehow, as this couldn’t be real, so I thought. Yet this energy in me had felt a definitive, divine origin of earth and cosmos. Filled to the brim and overflowing with love? from some external source? and this creature in the tree? Where else had it come from? …this thing in the tree, talking to me? I didn’t dream it, could not have like this, no previous exposure to Aboriginal culture on this level at all. The glow in the tree, too symmetrical, regularity in irregularity,  for anything but what I knew it somehow to be, through direct but intangible communications which were occurring.

If I looked away and back quickly, to test, it was in the same position. If projecting disbelief and that it must be a reflection which couldn’t in fact move …it would move …not disappear from view, although that was the effect, it appeared to be able to travel in the physical space however extremely fast. Sometimes if I looked away it would trick me and move to a different part of the tree. If I thought it was gone and started to wonder, it would call in my head, “I’m here” and immediately I would find it again. Felt at one stage as if it was …playing? with me.

…it had all happened, was still happening.

The first one to appear stayed longest, communicating over a period of maybe five minutes or so …seemed to not want to offer too much information; what had happened already was more than enough  anyway …HEEE! It was a brown native Australian bird of some kind when in animal form but I saw no bird, yet knew the association to be so, saw flashes or visions, momentarily of a live scene from somewhere in the bush.

I asked, often exclaimed in my head, and everything was answered with both a direct communication of thought to language, along with a deep emotive understanding which was much greater. If I thought “this can’t be happening” …the energy would specify, “it is happening”, and I would receive energy of …bliss? …love? If I thought/asked “what are you?”, the return was something like you (as in “you humans”) would think of us as spirit guides” but at the same time I was shown? taught? felt? the …actual spirit? …the being not the outer? not a name, which does no justice without the associated emotion. I got to flash for several fleeting seconds, into the body of this creatures’ animal form, in its flock, flying over the bush.

was like, question or thought …flash! and a glimpse of what I was about to become and then ….swoosh, as I am sucked instantaneously into a first person / bird view …to fly with the same pack I just witnessed for maybe ten seconds or so.

After a time the first spirit indicated it was leaving and perhaps I asked it not to go, because before vanishing was informed somehow, that it wasn’t over …there were others. The whole time I was asking questions of this …thing,  and getting quite unexpected answers, unexpected for me at that time anyway …totally inSane!

…it’s as if “belief” or “openness” enables one to see. Not guiding, preconceived belief …but belief in possibility.

Never have I been more open to experience than that first week at Confest. Never have I experienced this phenomenon again apart from that week and a few glimpses from time to time within the four months I managed to keep the vibe / connection. For the remaining days at the festival, these guides met and played with me every day near our camp site.

One after the other, three or four more arrived and went, in intervals seeming unique to each. Briefly introducing, presenting animal type and then disappearing in their own individual but similar dissolve type manner. Each kind of unique in an unexplainable way yet of the same type? like part of the personality (same in us) is displayed though movement.

The next entities to appear were a falcon or larger hunting bird of some sort, a wallaby or small Australian native marsupial, a peacock and I thought something else but cannot decide between two absurdities, of rat and dog type …and remember that at the time I couldn’t either, which confounded me then as it does now.

…how utterly strange!

With each flash / introduction (for want of a better word) I was presented with a scene then placed into the body of the live animal, for several seconds. I remember flying though the air as at least two birds, over unfamiliar yet quite real Australian outback terrain; not being the creature though, merely seeing the world from its eyes and surroundings. Like I replaced the spirit guides’ position for a brief moment. All animals were of native fauna but I have to admit that I was immediately lost in the visions …looking at the scenery …flying over the bush somewhere I have never seen, as freedom in a flock of birds, was quite incredible.

I remember seeing a large leaf structure in the background of the peacock scene, dense ferns and ghost gums, ground covered thickly with fallen plant matter, shaded, secluded.

When the last energy entity had disappeared, elation enveloped; a mixture of disbelief and absolute belief, dumbstruck …laughing intermittently, insanely happy, so happy. Still staring up into sky, grinning from ear to ear, heals and head dug into the earth. Sending and receiving laughter energy though the crowd like a Mexican wave and back again. Energy of those attending was amazing, tangible, could feel about three quarters of the people involved sending me good vibes throughout the process. It’s like we all connected somehow, somewhere in the ether, yet without conscious effort.

Off my head with emotion, energy and information, right at the end of the ceremony somewhere, quite suddenly, I almost leaped to my feet as a single bird I thought recognised as the main spirit guide, flew directly overhead, across the river and into heartland. Instantly charged with an intensely peculiar need to join it …in nature, I had involuntarily tensed and relaxed again, as if about to sprint off, which I found entirely confusing, yet arousing in some animalistic way. I had stopped when I realised that it wasn’t the one but was of same type. A second later the whole flock of same birds flew over. The second bird in this pointed grouping of perhaps a dozen was the brown bird spirit who had first shown itself. I tensed and …POW! The recognition was instant, involuntarily. I launched at light speed into the bush after it, running like a bullet, the wind itself, keeping pace …across the ground to the water and up the log to the end before being halted by the river which I remember seriously contemplating diving into and crossing to keep on running. At the end of the tree I had another vision, of being naked, bolting …through the bush …after this / with this flock of birds containing my spirit guide.

…passing over I heard it say, “come, with us” …and I soooo wanted to as well, it was like I was possessed.

The freedom, open spaces, a yearning I’ve never had to that extreme or imagined one could have. As the vision faded, preposterousness of situation overcame and I laughed hysterically at my own folly, as did the others who were watching.  So filled with joy, shaking my head. Must have attracted more than a few glances from non-participants and participants alike. I remember hearing laughter, amazement and some concern as I sprinted off with the wind. Think someone, maybe SmileGiver called to me “don’t do it”, as I was contemplating the dive. It would have to go down as possibly the most bizarre moment in my life (at least involuntarily perpetrated by me) …and there have been many

Next minute I’m crouching on the ground, back off the log, communicating telepathically with everyone else there, thanking them, one by one, intensely, eye contact, crying with joy and laughing with happiness almost simultaneously, amazement, confusion …loving them …feeling their love and kindness.

Evidently you will have as many spirit guides as needed …but what the? four? five? I waited for everyone to finish hugging and saying thanks and farewell to the healers before approaching and uttering quite emotionally, during the biggest hug ever, something like …”you have taught me more in this moment than I have learnt in an entire lifetime, thank you”.

It still blows me away, like I dropped a super-tab or something, crazy on all traditional levels, HEEE! …but it happened. I was trembling with the energy my body was holding. Felt like I could blaze a trail through the bush.  Shaking my head, then crying, then laughing, then shaking my head, then getting a vibe from someone and meeting their gaze instantly with love, compassion and friendship. So in tune with all around, earth and nature. Strangers coming up to hug and reassure, ask if I was alright or express that they had had similar experience. I remember bending down and touching the ground with palm flattened, outstretched. Touching very gently the earth, feeling it again, caressing it, loving it; then picking it up and watching in amazement as this wondrous stuff fell through my fingers to become one again with itself.

I felt so utterly amazing, a renewed life force, renewed attitude, new knowledge, my back felt wonderful …couldn’t believe how the sensation I’d had for the last year, of an impending collapse …was gone, totally gone, it was incredible! I was astounded …but soo happy, so alive …glowing.

…healed!

The walk back was invisible, translucent, uplifting, illuminating …slow yet timeless. I could not walk fast, had to feel every step, earth through toes.  Excitedly we spoke and laughed loudly about the experience, SmileGiver and Kat both getting something amazing out of it also. My antics at the healing certainly featured frequently in many conversations with people I’d meet for the remainder of the week. Some who had participated or watched, others who had heard.

I’ve never really known what to do with the experience. I don’t offer this tale blindly unless it comes up in conversation or has relevance and think that for me, it was meant to be put aside until now, not sure exactly why yet but synchronicity of these moments is absurd. Part of me has wanted to chuck everything away and head up north …visit the people of the earth,  hear their stories …learn this magic …maybe I will

One thing is certain. That didgeridoo healing changed my life forever. Gave an experience in possibility I never thought …possible. Showed connections where none were apparent and lavished love to an extreme never felt …for earth, cosmos and others.

– peace and love

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